15 Days of Rest!

I am finally off for our winter break.  I don't have to go back to work until January 6th! Going to spend the next 2 weeks enjoying time with my boys and my hubby. I will not stress over the holidays like I did for Thanksgiving and end up in a major flare.

My hubby and my youngest went out and bought a monster tree for Christmas (13ft. Noble Fir).  It's finally up and the tree and house are decorated.  My hubby decorated the house yesterday during his day off so I wouldn't have to do it.  We all decorated the tree Thursday night.

I've decided that we will go to Christmas Eve service and then to my cousin's house for her annual Christmas Eve party.  Christmas Day will be spent at home with my guys.  I've invited my parents to come over and join us for breakfast and the opening of the gifts.  My mom is upset with me because I don't want to have a bigger family gathering and has said she will not be coming over.  She tried to give me guilt by saying "it's time to start your own family traditions."

I refused to be guilted into doing something I don't feel up to doing and told her the invitation was still on the table for her and my dad.  I also told my dad.  Whether they show up or not is entirely up to them.

 I'm going to enjoy my Christmas Break and rest up for the second half of the school year.  The second half is always the craziest because of statewide testing.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

The Pitfalls of Being a Teacher!

I love being a teacher. I have loved it for the last 17 years. The only problem is, I catch every thing that comes into my class.  Since I'm the reading teacher, I work with small guided reading groups throughout the day to help my students who just quite aren't where they need to be when it comes to reading and comprehension. 

Not my table, but it works for my post!

Now as you can see from the picture, I am no more than 2 or 3 feet away from my students.  I meet with 5 different groups during the day.  It never fails, at least 2 of them are sniffling, sneezing, or coughing.  It's quite disgusting. I keep tissues and hand sanitizer handy, but how do you control the germs when they don't cover their mouths.  You would think that by 5th grade they would know how to do this, but I still have to remind them everyday. I have to wipe down my table with chlorox wipes between every group. 

I had built up my immunities over the years, but since my fibro diagnoses my immune system seems to be shot.  So now I get to spend yet another weekend trying to recuperate enough to go back to my germy little monsters on Monday.  They're so lucky I love them all! Do you think they would be offended if I wore a surgical mask during group?

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Thanks Julie!

I want to thank Julie from Counting My Spoons for nominating me for the Dragon's Loyalty Award. 

The Dragon’s Loyalty Award is an award for the loyal fan/commenter, whether the recipient is a fellow blogger or just someone who follows and comments regularly”. 

 

There are some rules that one must follow in order to fully accept the award and they are as follows:
1. Firstly, display the Award on your site. You earned it and you deserve it!
2. Link back to the person who gave you the award in your acceptance post;
3. Nominate 15 well deserving bloggers for the Award and let them know the wonderful news by sending them a message on their site;
4. List 7 interesting facts about yourself.

7 Interesting Facts:

1. I learned to shoot a gun when I was 11 (my dad was in law enforcement and wanted me to learn about gun safety and that guns are not toys).
2. Before my fibro I was a better shot than my hubby who was in the military.
3. I have a Master's in Educational Administration and my Principal's certificate, but I prefer being in the classroom.
4. I used to have a British accent until I was about 6 because my dad was stationed in England when he was in the Air Force (we lived there from the time I was 1 until I turned 5).
5. I'm Hispanic and the only family member who can't speak Spanish (I blame England), but I can understand it.
6. I worked as a sign language interpreter while in college.
7. My graduating class only had 10 people in it (town population of 500) and I missed being valedictorian by a tenth of a point (I took all the math and science courses while the valedictorian took typing and home ec, doesn't seem fair).  The valedictorian only lasted one semester in college (insert maniacal laugh here)! 

Nominations of my loyal followers:
1. Terri from Seeking the Gifts of Fibromyalgia
2. Julie from  Counting My Spoons

Wish I had more people to nominate, but I'm still trying to develop a following!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

My Family!

My Grandfather with his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and his great-great grandchildren!

My Silly Family!

These are the pictures my brother took on Thanksgiving of the 36 of us.  It took forever to get everyone organized and the little ones were getting restless.  After we took our family picture, we decided to do a silly picture of the kids.  I think we had more fun than the kids! Great memories!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

I SURVIVED! Sort of!

I SURVIVED!

After a horrible weekend due to the cold front, I felt really good on Monday.  I decided to take my little man Shane to the movies, then I had to go to a church council meeting, and finally I decided to go shopping.  I got home around 9:00 p.m. and was exhausted.

Tuesday I got up and cooked 2 turkeys, and made a double batch of my broccoli, rice and cheese casserole for our big family Thanksgiving/Family Reunion on Thursday.  I also did about 7 loads of laundry.  I still felt good, but my shoulders were a little sore.

Wednesday morning I went and picked up my mom around 8:15 so that we could go see the spine doctor (we both had appointments).  Doctor wants me to get an MRI and said I could go back to the chiropractor for now (yay me).  After our appointments my mom wanted to go to the mall to return some boots she had bought the day before.  We ended up getting makeovers (I got some makeup courtesy of my mom) and going to a late lunch.  After I dropped her off I headed to my nail appointment.  While I was there, my hubby called me and asked me to stop at the store and pick up some things we still needed for Thanksgiving.  I ended up getting home around 7:00 p.m. I was exhausted, a little more sore, but still moving.

Thursday 36 people (including my family) were crowded into my house for our first ever family reunion.  We hadn't all been together in over 13 years (see pictures on left sidebar).  My mom (the oldest sibling) called her other 3 siblings and told them that they needed to get all of their children and grandchildren to come down for Thanksgiving.  She didn't ask, she demanded!  My 89 year old grandfather was recently diagnosed with stage 4 skin cancer, and has decided he isn't going to get any treatments for it.  So my mom let everyone know that we may not have many more holidays with him.  So all 32 family members joined the 4 of us at my house for a wonderful day of love, laughter, and lots of memories.  I'm glad my body was still cooperating!

Friday and today I AM IN PAIN!!! My feet burn, my back is killing me, my shoulders feel like someone is stabbing me, and I have a monster headache!  The pain is worth the week I had.  I'm using the weekend to recuperate so that I'm work ready on Monday!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I know I did!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Feeling Better Until...

I called the orthopedist Monday to see if I could get an appointment.  After 4 weeks at the chiropractor I was starting to get new pains.  I went in with lower back pain and ended up with neck and middle back pains.  I was getting headaches every time he did an adjustment to my neck. 

My regular orthopedist couldn't fit me in until December 13th.  When I told the receptionist about my back and neck pain, she said they just added a new partner who was a spine specialist. I talked to his receptionist and was able to schedule an appointment for this coming Wednesday (thank goodness I'm on Thanksgiving break and don't have to take another day off).  She also told me to stop going to the chiropractor until they could determine if I had any other problems.

So after a week away from the chiropractor I was starting to feel better and was looking forward to a fun filled weekend until....

Yep a cold front moved into my desert city bringing rain, sleet, and temperatures in the 30s.  All week long we had weather in the 70s, and then Friday morning it got cold and windy.  By Friday afternoon it had dropped into the mid 40s.  Since yesterday it hasn't gotten above 37 degrees.  So of course everything hurts again.  Luckily by tomorrow this cold front will move out of the area, and things will warm up some. 

Hopefully things get better soon, I'm hosting Thanksgiving! My mom's entire family is coming into town (all 39 of us in my house).  Going to be a fun filled stress free week! NOT!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Cold Spots! Should I Be Worried?

Every once in a while I get this very weird cold sensation in my head.  I've had it on the top, the back, and the sides.  It feels like I have an ice pack on my head, you know the sensation, kind of cold and wet.  When I touch the spot that feels cold on the inside, I can't feel it on the outside.  It never last longer than a couple of minutes, and it doesn't cause any pain. 

It always happens at night, and always while I'm watching TV.  It doesn't matter if I'm sitting, lying on my side or lying on my stomach.  I can go weeks without it happening, and then it will happen every day for a couple of weeks.  I tried looking up information on the Internet, but there are too many sites to dig through and the information is not very helpful.

My question is, does anyone else ever have this happen to them?  Is this all in my head(literally), or should I be concerned?  Love to hear from you all!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Easily Bored!

I'm the type of person who gets easily bored with things.  I want my hair long, no I want it short, no I want it short with red highlights, no I want it layered with blond highlights, give me bangs (that was a mistake), wait I want it one length with purple highlights (what I currently have on my head).  I have had every one of those hair styles and then some. 

The same goes with my blog.  I want it purple (my favorite color), no I want it blue, wait the rain background is cool, no let's get the cool orange and pinkish splattery abstract background.  I like to change my blog around, and get ideas from other blogs.  The problem is dealing with the font.  I used to love playing with the different fonts and going all cutesy and fancy.  Then I realized that cutesy and fancy isn't always that easy to read for someone with fibro.

Back in September I posted about the fact that my vision is getting blurry.  This is becoming a daily problem, since I spend all day reading and writing with my 5th graders.  By the time I get home, my eyes are tired and my vision is super blurry.  I find that I am constantly hitting the zoom button on my computer in order to read some blogs (please do not be offended if you have cutesy fonts, this is not my intention).  It's made me more self conscious about my own blog. 

I was bored with my blog and decided to change to fall colors.  This took some doing.  I had to make sure the colors weren't too bright, the font was easily read, and that it wouldn't hurt the eyes.  This is not as easy as it sounds.  I miss my fancy fonts, but at least it doesn't bother my eyes.  I hope everyone finds it eye appealing, if not leave me a comment on how I can make it better.  Hurry before I get bored again and change the whole thing!

Gentle Hugs,
Easily Bored Bonnie

Fibro Warrior of the Week! Yay!

I want to send a big hug and a big thank you to Julie at Counting My Spoons for making me her Fibro Warrior of the Week!

Thank You Julie!

Gentle Hugs to All,
Bonnie

Snap! Crackle! Pop! Redux!

I've been going to the chiropractor for almost 4 weeks now (3 times a week).  Four weeks of getting deep tissue massages, physical therapy, electrical stimulation, and my favorite adjustments.  My lower back is actually starting to feel a little better. 

The massage therapist is determined to get rid of all the knots in my neck, shoulders, and glutes by torturing me with deep tissue massages.  She hasn't been able to make a dent in the knots yet, and let me tell you she's not giving up.  It's 15 minutes of pure torture, and I walk out of the room light headed and feeling like she took a bat to my back.

I definitely look like this after a massage and adjustment!

The physical therapy part isn't bad.  They have me doing several stretches and exercises to help my back.  I don't mind the adjustment on my back, but the neck freaks me out every time.  I keep expecting for my head to come flying right off my shoulders.  Every time they adjust my neck I swear I see stars! After a session, I'm pretty much finished for the rest of the night.  I come home and just collapse!

They did a scan of my feet, and now I'm getting orthotics because apparently when I walk I don't put any weight on my big toes.  I'm actually having to learn how to walk all over again.  Apparently this is also a cause of my balance issues.  I thought I was just super clumsy!  Thank goodness my insurance is covering this, because the orthotics are expensive.

After looking at my x-rays, the doctor was amazed that the only part of my body I don't complain about pain is the part that has arthritis (vertebrae T11 and T12).  I guess I'm just lucky that way!

Photo Courtesy of www.yogaback.com

So I will continue to go get tortured 3 times a week, and wait for that magical day when I don't walk out of there feeling like I was mugged.  They say it's going to happen! Fingers crossed!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

I Tweaked My Sign!

I decided to tweak my drawing (still not an artist) and am really considering printing it out and making it a sign to put in my window! Let me know what you think!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

To Park or Not to Park! Now that is truly the question!

 

Living with a chronic illness is bad enough, but living with an invisible chronic illness is horrible beyond words.  

I recently got my permanent disabled parking plates for my vehicle.  I often feel guilty using them because of the looks people give me when I get out of my truck.  You know the look?  The "how dare you park there when you are obviously healthy" look.   The look that makes you want to start limping and dragging your leg as you walk.  The look that makes you want to explain why you dare to park in that sacred space. The look that makes you want to scream "I dare to park here because I hurt all over, my feet feel like they're on fire and I'm walking on glass, my lower back and neck feel like someone is stabbing me constantly, and my head feels like it's about to explode!"  

Yes I look normal! I don't look like I fall under the permanently disabled category! In fact there are days when I don't use the spaces provided, but I'm so happy they are there when I need them.  Please quit looking at me as if I'm doing something wrong.  

I think that the fact that the signs have a wheelchair on them doesn't help those of us with an invisible illness.  Most people see those signs and think only those in a wheelchair should be allowed to park there.  Even my plates have the wheelchair symbol on them.  I think if they changed the signs to something like this:

Warning! Pain All Over!

people might be more compassionate to those of us with an invisible illness.  I'm just saying! So for now I will try not to feel guilty when I use that space.  Maybe I'll print my drawing (I never claimed to be an artist), turn it into a magnetic sign, an put it on the back of my truck!  Think people will get the hint?

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Rude Awakenings!

photo courtesy of: http://ic.steadyhealth.com/leg_cramps_and_potassium.html

muchphoto courtesy of : http://diabetes.webmd.com/ss/slideshow-what-your-feet-say

There is nothing worse than being woken up in the middle of the night with a Charley Horse Leg Cramp.  I'm sure everyone has had a couple of these in their lifetimes right?  Well early this morning I was not woken up by a Charley Horse in my calf, I was woken up with Charley Horses in both calves and the toes of both feet.  Talk about rude awakenings!

For about 2 minutes (though it seemed like a lot longer) I tried to relax my muscles and not tense up.  I have learned from the past that stretching out my muscles only makes the cramps worse, and that the best thing I can do is to try breathing through the pain until the cramp subsides.  This is not always the easiest thing to do, but I always manage.

I have never had both legs cramp up at the same time, and I never in my life had my toes cramp up.  My toes were bent in some very weird positions.  If it hadn't hurt so much I might have found it amusing.  My legs and my toes are sore today, but at least they don't look funny anymore!  I'm guessing that I'm dehydrated and low on potassium, so lots of water and bananas for me today.  Only problem is, I can't eat bananas by themselves (the scent of the banana is too strong for me and makes me gag), so I guess I will have to sacrifice and have a banana split! Oh Darn!

Photo Courtesy of: http://www.baskinrobbinsmea.com/

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Think Pink! Better Late than Never!

Photo Courtesy of: http://www.zazzle.com/

I went today to get an ultrasound of my ovaries since I've been having pains.  My doctor also decided that it was time for me to get another mammogram since my last one was in 2009 and I am now 46 years old. 

I feel bad because I know I'm supposed to get a mammogram at least every 2 years since I turned 40, and I haven't kept up with this.  Every October I pay my $5 to wear jeans at school in support of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I've never really sat down and thought about how this horrible disease affects so many women and men.  Yes men can get breast cancer also.  My hubby had to have a mammogram a couple of years ago for a lump he found on his chest.  Luckily it turned out to be a cyst, but it was scary.  I found this website that gives all sorts of Breast Cancer Facts, Statistics, and Myths. 

If you're over 40 or have had a parent, grandparent, sibling, or any other close family member who was diagnosed with breast cancer I strongly urge you go get your mammogram.  Although the month is over, it's never too late to get checked over. 

On the fibro side of things, the mammogram was a little more painful than the last time, but it wasn't as bad as having a flare up. 

Remember, Think Pink!
Bonnie

Get the Fire Extinguisher!

photo courtesy of http://www.hallmark.com/online/maxine/crabby-road/

I need to make an appointment to see my ob/gyn.  I haven't seen him in 8 years (but I do have an annual exam with my GP every year so I'm not neglecting my body) since he performed my partial hysterectomy after Shane was born.  I've been getting hot flashes for about a year now, but they are happening more frequently.   This morning I woke up with severe pain in my right ovary.  I'm afraid it may be time to remove the ovaries and start the hormones (my poor guys). 

I live in a house full of men who don't seem to understand why I would possibly want the air conditioning going when they are freezing.  The 9 year old doesn't protest too much, he's very hot blooded, so it really doesn't bother him, but the 18 year old and my hubby act like I've set the temperature to North Pole Settings!

I had a hot flash yesterday morning at work that actually had my colleagues concerned.  I started sweating profusely and apparently my face became really red.  One of my colleagues did the mommy touch to see if I had a fever, but she said I was cool and clammy (ewwww).  It lasted about an hour, and then it left just as quickly as it arrived.  I had a couple more episodes throughout the day, but they only lasted 10 to 15 minutes. 

I'm in the middle of a serious hot flash as I type this, and wish the air would kick on again.  I'd get up and mess with the thermostat, but it hurts when I walk (darn ovary). Oh wait, it just kicked on again (yay me).   So for now my men must freeze.  I told them it was easier for them to layer, than for me to strip down (wouldn't want to traumatize my boys).  Thank goodness they all love me very much!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

P.S. Darn air conditioning turned off again! :-(

Spondo What?

Photo courtesy of the Mayo Clinic

I finally got the x-ray results for my back, and the chiropractor tells me I have spondylosis.  I know I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a child, but had no clue what spondylosis was and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  So the doctor shows me the x-ray and starts to explain what is happening with my back.

Needless to say I was a little freaked out by all his doctor talk, so I asked him to explain it to me in normal person talk.  He laughed at me and basically said my vertebrae are degenerating and I have bone spurs on the ends of them, my tail bone is at a funky angle, and my left hip is higher than my right hip.   I also have arthritis of the spine! Yay me!  So he wants to see me 3 times a week for the next 4 weeks to work on my back (more snap! crackle! and pop!).  He says they should be able to get me walking with minimal pain in no time.

I went to my rheumy yesterday and told him about the diagnoses, and he wants me to be careful with the chiropractor because he's afraid they're going to mess me up even more.  He then proceeded to give me 2 cortisone shots (one in each hip) to help with my myofascial pain.  My hubby was with me and I could see the look on his face.  I had seen the needle (about 5 inches in length) and asked hubby if the doctor had pushed the whole needle in my hip (the doctor gives a numbing shot first so I couldn't feel the big needle), and my hubby could only nod his head up and down.  The shots have actually helped with the tenderness in my legs.  Hopefully it lasts a while before wearing off.

So tomorrow I go back to the chiropractor and tell him about my rheumy's concerns. My rheumy also gave me a note for the chiropractor explaining what he would like accomplished during physical therapy.  He said to let him know if the chiropractor couldn't accommodate me and he would send me to a new physical therapist.

I just want the pain to go away!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

No, I'm not talking about the cereal! 

What a day! First hubby and I went to my family doctor (who I absolutely love and wouldn't trade in for the world because he believes me when I tell him I'm hurting) who gave me a shot of something, a pain pill, a prescription for some pain patches, and a prescription for a muscle relaxer. Then he called his brother the chiropractor and told him he needed to see me today. 

So off we went to the chiropractor who said my back was really jacked up (though he used his doctor words) and worked out a temporary plan of treatment. First a massage (I was thinking awesome until they went all deep tissue on me and pissed off my fibro and made me seriously light headed), then some stretches (painful but manageable), time with the industrial strength tens unit , and finally I was back with the doctor. 

 He stretched me out (ouch), and then told me he was going to do an adjustment (oh-oh). I have never been to a chiropractor before, but I relaxed and let him do his thing. He popped every bone in my back (quick relief, then "Dude, I'm going to hurt you if you do that again" pain). Monday I have to get some x-rays and lab work done, and he wants to see me again. Apparently it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Right now I feel like I've been beaten with a bat, plus my back is still killing me. I did take a long nap today due to the work out my body got plus the meds they gave me. So for now I'm supposed to keep resting, and then we'll see what Monday brings. So looking forward to it!

A little humor courtesy of http://www.digitalham.co.uk/misc/chiropractor/

Gentle hugs,
Bonnie

My Spine!!!!

I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a child. I was one of the lucky ones who were diagnosed early enough that it could be treated through exercise (several exercises every day for 6 years), and I didn't have to have surgery or wear a brace.

My mom was the one who noticed when I was 5 that my back looked a little crooked. I had to see the specialist twice a year for 6 years. He would x-ray me, take measurements, adjust the lift I had to wear in my shoe (left leg is 3/4 of inch longer than the right leg), and adjust my exercises. Finally, when I turned 11 he told me that he no longer had to see me because I had reached the height I would be for the rest of my life. I had stopped growing at 5"4 (I was a tall 11 year old, but quickly became a short 12-46 year old).

The point of my post is the back pain I have suffered through my entire adult life. As long as I can remember I have always had problems with my back. I threw my back out the first time at age 29 which was not a pleasant experience. For an entire week I couldn't move without experiencing excruciating pain. I have dealt with this on and off for the last 17 years.

Lately my back pain is getting worse.  By the time I get home from work the pain is so bad I can't do anything else.  I spend my weekends in bed trying to get some relief.  I have tried my tens unit, heating pad, ice pack, back stretches, and pain medication, but nothing seems to work.  I have another 10 days before my rheumy appointment (which was supposed to be today), and I hope he has something that will help with this pain.

I started wondering if there was a link between scoliosis and fibro and found this very interesting link: http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/whosatrisk/a/fms_risk.htm.  One thing mentioned in the article was that "about 25% of people with low back pain eventually developed FMS, and scoliosis or other postural disorders made FMS more likely."

So for now I get through one day at a time and hope that there is something that can help with the pain.  Until then...

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

I know I just posted but...

while posting a comment on Chronic Mom  I ended with "Remember: One Day at a Time" which triggered my memory of the TV show.  We are studying theme this week in my class and I am having them figure out themes by listening to TV theme songs.  After listening to the words from "One Day At A Time" I realized that this is actually a good way to look at life everyday! I don't like to look towards the future and think about how my chronic illness is something I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.  It's easier to take each day "One Day at A Time!"

 

Gentle Hugs Again,

Bonnie

What Do You Mean You're Taking A Few Days Off?

I called my rheumy today to confirm my appointment for this Saturday.  I've been looking forward to this appointment for about a month now since I've been in flare up mode.  Well apparently my doctor has decided to take a very long weekend (Friday-Monday) and now my appointment has been moved to the 22nd.  TWO MORE WEEKS!

I understand my doctor probably needs a vacation since he is the only fibro specialist in the city, but not when I'm in flare up! I know I'm being selfish, but I'm tired of walking around like I'm an 80 year old (no offense to the very active 80 year olds who can out walk me right now) instead of like the 46 year old I am now!

Hopefully the nurse heard the desperation in my voice and will be able to squeeze me in sooner, but the odds are slim.  So for now I will push myself to make it through the school day, and relax with my heating pad and tens unit when I get home.  Two more weeks! I can make it!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Trying Not To Stress, but...

it's hard not to do when you know you're hubby might not get paid for awhile.  My Babe unfortunately is a federal employee who has to go to work each day while knowing he is not going to get a paycheck until government decides to get their act together and come to some kind of understanding.  This whole thing is a mess.  Right now the republicans are on my last nerve (which are shooting me some serious pain).  I think Jon Stewart sums up my feelings best:

It's bad enough that the shutdown is affecting my personal life, but it has also crept into my teaching life.  I have been teaching Point of View and was going to show my kids the classic story of the 3 little pigs from the Library of Congress.  I press the bookmark I had saved and this was the message I received:

A Note to loc.gov Users
Due to the temporary shutdown of the federal government, the Library websites, except the legislative information sites THOMAS.gov and beta.congress.gov, are currently unavailable!

WTF! I was so mad! Luckily I found a different website that had a version of the story (though not the one I wanted) to teach my lesson. I guess the Library of Congress finally realized how silly they were being and have restored the website (The Library has restored access to all sites in addition to our legislative information sites. Other legislative branch agencies, and many executive branch agencies with information functions similar to the Library, are granting public access as well.)  Too bad my lesson is over!

So my flare up is continuing into it's 4th week now.  I really need some kind of relief soon.  Have my rheumy appointment next week.  Hope he can help with this flare.  For now I will try not to stress over how we are going to pay our bills and feed our family.  Luckily our mortgage company is working with us for now.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

My Get Up and Go has Got Up and Went!

This is definitely me!

My body has been in flare up mode ever since the rainy week we had.  It's been almost 3 weeks and the pain seems to be getting worse not better.  I feel bad because I'm conserving what energy I have to make it to work everyday.  Anyone who teaches can tell you that it is not a sit around and relax kind of job.  I get home so exhausted and in so much pain that I just change into my jammies and climb into bed.

Luckily for me I have the best hubby in the world.  He knows I'm hurting and he takes care of me and the boys.  I know it hard for him sometimes having to be the one that takes care of everything, and I feel guilty that I have to rely on him so much. 

The problem is, that I don't have the energy to do anything with him or the boys on weekends.  My feet, back, shoulders, and head hurt so much that I just want to sleep my weekends away.  My parents don't understand what I'm feeling.  My mother is constantly at me to just get up and deal with the pain.  My dad thinks the solution is to just get on the treadmill and everything will be alright! I know my boys wish I could do more with them, but they know how much I hurt.

I have an appointment to see my rheumatologist in 2 weeks, and I'm going to ask him to refer me to a local physical therapy place that deals with fibro.  They have aqua therapy, massage therapy, plus exercises and yoga.  I'm hoping that they will help with some of my pain issues.  It might also be time to adjust or change my medications.  I have hydrocodone for when the pain gets to the unbearable stage, but I try not to use it that often.  I have an addictive personality, and the last thing I need is to become addicted to pain killers.

So for now I will rest and recover and ignore my parents (I know they love me and mean well).  I will continue to lean on my best friend and hope that I don't end up pushing him to his breaking point.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Grown Up Time!

I'm feeling good this weekend, only have a few aches and pains, and the hubby and I are going out tonight!  It's my aunts birthday this week, and we are celebrating by going out to dinner and then to the local comedy club with her and her hubby and my parents.  It's so nice having an 18 year old who can take care of his 9 year old brother so we can have a night out.  This is one good reason for having children so far apart in age. 

I'm going to spend the day relaxing and resting.  I don't want to do anything that is going to prevent me from going out tonight.  I have been looking forward to this all week.  I know my aunt is going to be resting also since she is a fellow fibro warrior.  I know she's been hurting a lot lately because of our crazy weather.

On a totally different note, I developed a new symptom yesterday.  We were having professional development in the gym (which is really hot and humid because of the swamp coolers), and my principal decided to be nice by bringing in fans to cool us down.  Well he set up one of the fans right behind me which felt great at first.  About 30 minutes later, my shoulder really started to ache.  Thirty minutes after that it really started to hurt.  I've never had pain due to temperature changes.  I hope this isn't something that is going to start affecting me all the time.

Anyway, hope everyone has a great weekend!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Heartbroken!

I found out today that a former student of mine passed away last week.  I was told that he either accidentally overdosed or took his own life.  Either way it's a tragedy! I'm completely heartbroken over the way his life turned out.  He was only 20 years old and will never know what life had in store for him.  Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Aw Man!

Woke up this morning to crusty eyes, and thought maybe, just maybe, my allergies were going haywire and things were backing up into my eyes.  Put in my eyedrops, used my nose spray, took my allergy meds, and went to work.  I made sure not to touch my eyes all day, and by the end of the day the pain and itchy were starting to drive me crazy.  Went to the school nurse who thought it might be allergies also, but decided I should go to the district's wellness clinic just to be on the safe side!

In case you couldn't guess from my wonderful attempt at humor by photograph, I have pink eyes.  Yes eyes as in plural, both eyes!  Can't believe my luck! Had to come home and wash my bedding and towels, wipe down everything I have touched in the last 24 hours, and call in a substitute because I can't go to work for 24 hours! Luckily I have the greatest colleagues who will make sure my sub has things to do with my students tomorrow.

So tomorrow I get to rest and relax and worry that my kids are falling behind schedule because I'm out another day! Now if I could just figure out which one of my little darlings gave me pink eyes! Hmmmmm!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Sunshine Day!

Sunshine Day!

 

The Sun is out!

The rain has gone!

My pain is minimal,

I love you sun!

More rain to come,

The pain will return!

But for today,

My body does not burn!

By Bonnie N.

Another Fibro Rainy Day Poem!

Seriously already, enough with the rain.  We are a desert city, and we are beginning to drown!  Everything is flooding, and the people of this city have no clue how to drive on wet streets.  I'm so done with the rain!  On the bright side, I've managed to tap into my creative side and write another poem.

Another Rainy Day Pain Poem

By Bonnie N.  

Enough already,
I can hardly move!

Body is screaming,
I’ve lost my groove.

My fuzzy is brain!
Wait, that doesn't sound right,

No sleep for 3 days,
Darn those sleepless nights.

My brain is fuzzy,
That's better I think!

I'm feeling on edge,
I'm at the brink!

They say it’s almost over,
There’s relief in sight!

Hopefully soon,
No more sleepless nights!

Gentle "Dry" Hugs,
Bonnie

My Fibro Rain Poem

My Fibro Rain Poem

I hate the rain,

I really do.

It makes me hurt,

It makes me blue.

I live in a desert,

It's not supposed to rain.

But three days in,

and I'm in so much pain.

Monsoon season 

has come late this year.

Everything hurts,

even parts of my rear.

It's time to stop now,

It's time to go.

Two more days of this,

Oh my, Oh No!

By Bonnie N.

My Eyes!

Ever since I was diagnosed with Fibro, I've noticed a major decrease in my vision.  I've been to the ophthalmologist who tells me my vision isn't changing, and my problems are probably caused by my medications and sleep problems.

Great, so my options are to quit my medications, or learn to deal with the blur!  I can't seem to fix my sleep problems, and I'd rather see things a little blurry than always be in pain. The good thing is they usually don't start getting fuzzy until late afternoon or early evening.  Depends on how much time I've spent reading (which is a lot especially since I'm a reading teacher), on the computer, or how little sleep I got the night before.

Today I am having an especially hard time with my vision (thank goodness for little red squiggly lines that tell me if I've spelled something wrong), and have tried the Visine already..  I spent the morning working on lesson plans, so I know why my eyes are so fuzzy today.

I really don't want to take a nap because then I won't be able to sleep tonight and will start all over with this issue tomorrow.

I wish they had a medication that took the blur away!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Feeling Somewhat Better!

I have spent a very lazy and relaxing weekend trying to get rid of the pain from this latest flare up.  I'm hoping to be fine by tomorrow (or at least functional) since I have to go back to work.  I'm not ready to start taking days off yet since we just started back.

I can't reiterate enough how fortunate I am to have such a fabulous support system in the men in my family. Brian is making sure the laundry is done and anything else that needs to be done, Spencer is helping pick up the slack by doing other chores, and Shaney keeps offering to give me a massage.  I am truly blessed with my guys!

I'm going to spend the day relaxing in bed while I do some lesson plans, watch TV, surf the internet, and take naps! Tomorrow it's back to running around!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Gentle With Myself-Positive Affirmations-art by RobynNola.com and music ...

I saw this on my friend Terri's blog and thought I would share it on my blog. This is such a beautiful video and great for relaxing and getting out of your own head for a few minutes. Enjoy!





Gentle Hugs, Bonnie

Fifth in the Middle: 1,000 Follower Giveaway Day 2 Hop and Win

http://fifthinthemiddle.blogspot.com/2013/09/1000-follower-giveaway-day-2-hop-and-win.html


Great giveaway going on! Hop on over and check it out!

Bonnie

My Body Knows!

It seems like my body knows that I must get through the work week with as little pain as possible, but it seems to want to make up for the week on weekends.  I had minimal pain all week, but this morning I woke up and I can hardly move my arms because my shoulders and neck are killing me.  I also have a monster headache, but after almost 30 years of monster headaches I can deal with those.  My feet feel like I'm walking on shards of glass!

I'm glad I didn't have this pain during the week, but I would like a weekend off every once in awhile. I guess my brain and body know that I need every bit of strength and energy to get through my days, but it is wreaking havoc with my weekends.  I seem to spend my Saturdays trying to recuperate and recharge for the next work week.  This wouldn't be so bad, except it takes time away from my family.  I feel guilty for not wanting to do anything on Saturdays because I hurt so much, but luckily for me I live with a wonderful group of guys who pamper me and understand what I'm going through. 

I love being a teacher, and all that it entails. I love seeing the faces of my students when the light bulb goes on.  From the moment I step into the building until I get back into my car, I'm going nonstop! I don't think I could effectively do my job if I had the pain I have today.  It's bad enough the fibro fog hits at the most inopportune times, but my kids usually can figure out what I'm trying to say or what I was trying to write when it hits. 

This first week back wasn't too bad, and the fibro fog was pretty mellow until yesterday.  I think by yesterday I was exhausted from the week and my brain was acting pretty loopy. The great thing about teaching 5th graders is that they are quick to pick up on a spelling mistake or a misspoken word.  They are not obnoxious about correcting me, and I've learned to make it a game by telling them I was trying to see if they were paying attention.  Other times I'll blame it on a lack of coffee.  Either one usually works, and we have a good laugh about it!

So today I will rest up and conserve my energy.  Luckily it's a 3 day weekend which will allow me to spend extra time with my guys. I've taken my meds and the dreaded pain pill (which I hate taking unless absolutely necessary), and I will nap! Today is a me day!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today is my Daddy's birthday! Yes I'm 46 years old and I still call him Daddy! I'll admit it, I have no shame, I AM A DADDY'S GIRL!  Always have been, always will be! So Happy Birthday Daddy! I love you very much!

Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP)

http://myofascial-pain-syndrome.org/

Living with CMP is literally a pain in the butt.  I don't know what I hate more, the fibromyalgia or the CMP.  Actually it's worse when both of them are in flare up mode at the same time.  It seems to me that the CMP never really goes away.  It just varies in degree of pain.  Sometimes it only hurts if someone hugs to hard, accidentally bumps into me, or gives me a friendly hit on the arm, back, etc...

CMP Trigger Points

Lately I have been hurting more than usual.   I think it's a combination of trying to get used to being back at work, and the rainy weather we've been dealing with this week.  I have been especially hurting in the glutes and the trapezius muscles.  It feels like someone is constantly stabbing me in those particular areas.  It's hard to get comfortable when they hurt all the time.  I'm definitely hanging around a 10 on the pain scale! Both of my arms and legs hurt when someone touches me, but I can live with that pain. 

I've been afraid of getting the pain injections since I have never had any relief with cortisone shots for other problems.  I have thought about going to get a massage, but I'm afraid I'll hurt more after the massage.  I'm glad I found this website (look under the pain picture for link).  I'm going to do some more research and see if I can figure out how to deal with this pain.

Gentle Hugs,

Bonnie

What a Great Day!

I was so happy to see all my new students today! I teach 3 Reading/Language Arts classes, and I really have to say that all 3 classes were wonderful.  I didn't have any trouble with my breathing (remembered to use my inhaler this time), and made it through the day with only minor aches and pains.

All ready for work!

Today was also my oldest son's first day of college! I can't believe my little guy is a young man now! I'm so proud of him.

Spencer first day of college!

Spencer through the years!

The only part of my day that wasn't great was finding out that one of my students also suffers from fibromyalgia and migraines.  I feel his pain and wish I could take it from him.

I'm happy but exhausted! Going to sleep early so I'm ready for another great day!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Happy, Exhausted and In Pain!

Well I survived my first official week back at work.  It was great catching up with my friends and colleagues, I went to some great inservice trainings, and I finished setting up my classroom.  I am ready to receive students on Monday, and have at least the first 3 days planned out.  I'm planning on using the weekend to finish planning for at least the next 2 weeks.

Today was a very busy day! I got to work this morning and walked to my classroom.  I realized when I got to my room and was breathing heavily that I had forgotten to use my inhaler before leaving home this morning.  Luckily for me I keep an extra inhaler in my backpack, so I used it right away and sat down for about 5 minutes and was ready to go again.

I spent a lot of time it seemed running back and forth from my room to the workroom or office.  Our building isn't huge, but it isn't small either.  My room is located at the end of the second hall in a 3 hall building.  I wear a pedometer every day, and today I managed to log in 3.21 miles.  This was just in my building and in my classroom.  Needless to say, my feet are bothering me again.  My back hurts, and I have a monster headache.  To make matters worse, it's supposed to rain tonight so the rest of my body is starting to feel achy!

Regardless of the pain and exhaustion, I'm extremely excited for the first day of school on Monday.  I have missed teaching and can't wait to have students again.  I will not let the Fibro dampen my spirits! I will rest up this weekend and will be raring to go come Monday!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

First Day Back to Work!

Well I survived my first official day back to work.  It was great seeing all my friends again, and we had a great day catching up.  The inservice wasn't too bad, but I would have wanted to spend the day doing more productive things than going over things I already know how to do! A friend of mine sent me this link that a teacher wrote about inservice trainings.  It's pretty funny, and pretty scary how accurate it is when it comes to how a lot of us feel during inservice.  I shared this with my colleagues and they thought it was pretty accurate also.

I am very happy that I haven't needed my oxygen tank at school, but I'm still getting headaches and am exhausted by the end of the day.  I came home and took an hour long nap because I was so tired.  I'm going to try to get to bed earlier tonight (couldn't fall asleep until midnight last night and was up at 5:45), and I may take my shower tonight so that I can sleep just a little bit longer.

I'm hoping by next Monday that my body will be used to the new routine and that I won't be as exhausted by the end of the day.  So for now I'm going to read some blogs, then it's off to my shower and then bed time! Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Busy Last Day of Vacation!

I can't believe after 5 months I'm finally going back to work! It's going to be nice seeing all of my colleagues again.  I saw a few of them today while I worked on my classroom, but there are many I have missed!

I had a very busy day for my last day of vacation.  I had to get up early to get myself ready to take Shane to school.  Then it was shot day at the allergist's, so that took up almost an hour and a half of my morning.  Since I was already out and about I decided to go to the local teacher store and craft store to buy things for my classroom.

I then had to go to the shoe store to buy some new work shoes I can wear with capri pants because it is still very hot here. By the way if you haven't tried SAS Shoes, I highly recommend them if you have problem with your feet.  I bought the Free Time Style since I can't seem to wear my regular tennis shoes anymore because my fibro is affecting my feet, and I can't wear sandals because I need ankle support for my knee.   The SAS Shoes may not be the prettiest shoes on the planet, but they certainly cushion your feet.*

Finally I made it to school after picking up Spencer from the house.  He spent his morning getting his schedule set up for his first day of college.  He has decided to take his basics at the local community college while he tries to decide what he wants to major in when he transfers to an university.  I've heard music therapy, sociology, and education.  At least I still have him at home for awhile. 

Spencer and I finally managed to finish getting everything in its place. and borders hung up on the walls.  I have a few odds and ends to tie up, but I could accept kids into my classroom tomorrow if it was the first day for them. 

So tomorrow I head back to work with a big smile on my face, and my inhaler in my bag.  Looking forward to catching up with everyone and hanging out with my grade level for the next 4 days.  Monday we get kids!!!!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

*I am in no way affiliated with SAS shoes.  These are only my opinions!

Hurting!

I thought I was doing okay yesterday after setting up my classroom, and was going to get away with just a headache.  As the night progressed though, other parts of my body started hurting.  By bedtime I could hardly walk because my feet were very tender.  It feels like I'm walking on shards of hot glass!  My arms and legs are sensitive to touch, actually I will throw something at you if you even come close to my arms and legs! My pain scale number has definitely gone up from the 5 I was at yesterday.  I would say today I'm at about a 9.  Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night and look like something from "The Walking Dead!"

I can handle the pain in my arms and legs (remember don't come to close to my throwing arm), but the feet are another thing!  Just the thought of getting up to go to the restroom gives me nightmares! So today is going to be a lazy, stay in bed kind of day. Thank goodness my hubby is off today and taking good care of me. 

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Headache Time!

Went to work today to get my classroom ready for the upcoming school year.  We go back on the 20th and get kids on the 26th.  This was my first time back to my classroom since getting sick in March, so I really wasn't sure what to expect.  My wonderful substitute packed up my room for me so I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.  He did an awesome job, so unpacking the room wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, plus I had 4 helpers with me.  My oldest son Spencer convinced his best friends Sarah and Marsha to come and help, and then my dad dropped Shane off after he got out of school.

Best friends since 3rd Grade!

I took my oxygen tank with me just in case I needed it, but I only needed to use my inhaler to keep me going.  I did end up with a monster headache, and several parts of my body seem to  be mad at me and are throbbing.  On the pain scale I would say I'm only about a 5. I'm taking it easy the rest of the night so that I can go back tomorrow and finish up.  My helpers did all the heavy lifting and cleaning today, so I only have to put some things away.  Shouldn't take too long I hope!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie