Could Life Be Anymore Stressful? (Done in my Chandler voice from Friends)

Trying to keep my flares at bay is not an easy thing when life throws a lot of stress your way.  I'm still trying to deal with the fact that my son is leaving in exactly one month.  I am still very proud of him and wished I had the guts he has when I was his age.

My boys at Shane's 11th Birthday Dinner!

That stress is bad enough, but I'm worried about my cousin who has "Stage  2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer (that means while the cancer started in a duct, the cancer cells have moved outside the duct-that is what makes it invasive."

My cousin is only a year younger than me, but she is one of the strongest women I know.  She lives quite a distance away from the rest of the family, but has her husband, children, and her brother and sister and their families with her.  I support every decision she makes and I know that her faith will pull her through this.  I believe she will win this war, but it's still hard not to worry about her and what she is going through.  I didn't know how to support her from so far away, and then it hit me.  I bought what I call my "Supporting Lolita" outfit to wear on Fridays, and I got a new tattoo in her honor and for those who have gone through this horrible disease (personally or as a support system).

I also got it for my Grandma Raquel who passed away when I was 18 from complications due to bone cancer.  She was diagnosed when I was 3 and told she had only 6 months to live.  She fought for 15 years because she was determined to see me graduate from high school.  She was bedridden when I graduated, but video cameras had just come out so my parents rented one so they could tape it for her.  She lasted 2 months after my graduation and made me promise I wouldn't get married until I graduated from college.  Her strength was incredible also!

  

My body has been nice to me during this time, but we are also getting ready for the state exam at the end of the month.  I have several students who I worry about.  I have been working with these kids everyday (including Saturdays), and yet nothing seems to be working.  I have seen a few light bulbs come on, but several that remain dim.  I know they can do it, but trying to convince them of that is another story.  I hate this test and I truly don't think it's fair to put this much pressure on an 11 year old.  I also don't think that many of our people in charge (our Governor for example) could pass this test.

Oh,  and to add to the stress, we decided to adopt a puppy yesterday for my youngest son.  A very huge 10 month old puppy who weighs 81 pounds.  He's a Black Lab/Newfoundland mix and is the sweetest dog ever. He is also very active and wants to eat everything in sight.  Our yorkie seems to be okay with him unless he jumps up on one of us and then he goes into overprotective mode.  What Willy doesn't seem to understand is that Dante outweighs him by 70 pounds.  So far Dante just looks at Willy when he tries snapping at him.  Hopefully Willy realizes we're not in danger and just chills out.  Shane loves his new dog, but they are going to doggy school during Spring Break because right now Dante takes Shane for a walk instead of the other way around.

Shane and Dante

Dante and Willy

Stress be damned, I will deal with whatever pain Fibro throws my way and get through the next few months.  I will handle my son leaving, I will continue believing in my cousin, I will get my kids through this stupid test, and I'll make sure Dante doesn't eat Willy.  I pity the flare that tries to get in my way.  Ain't nobody got time for that! :-)

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

P.S.  Did you notice I've lost 29 pounds! WooHoo! That has helped with some of my pain, and I have a little more energy.

The Blahs!

When I started writing this post about 3 hours ago, it was a whiny whoa is me post.  I started complaining about work and state testing and being tired all the time! Wah, wah, wah!

Then I stopped writing, shut down the computer and watched a movie with my hubby. While watching the movie I started thinking of my post again and realized that life is what I make of it, and being a big whiny baby isn't going to help me get out of my blahs!

I've decided that I'm going to join the gym Monday (which my school district is paying for), and start eating healthy again.  I came to the realization that I've become a slug on the weekends because I have no energy left after a week of work.  It doesn't help that I've gained about 30 pounds since school started (on top of the 80 pounds I was already over weight).  I need to get out of my slump and start living again. 

I let my fibro take control, and it's time I take back that control.  It's time to quit feeling sorry for myself, and making excuses because I have fibro.  I need to push myself to my limits instead of just giving up without even trying.  It's time to put the WAR back into Fibro Warrior!

So no more blahs, and more yays!  Life will be good again!

By the way, my mommy helped me get out of my blahs by telling me she has bought tickets for me and Spencer to go see Britney Spears in Vegas this September! Big Yay! 

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Losing Weight

As anyone with fibro can attest to, losing weight is not always that easy.  You may have medications that work against you, your sleep patterns may be messed up which apparently affects weight loss, or you may be trying to figure out what foods to eat so that you don't end up in a flare up which is not as easy as it sounds.

I have been fighting with my weight for years now, so I can't blame it all on my fibro (or can I since I've probably had fibro for a lot longer than I thought?), but I gained about 40 pounds after my diagnoses.  I didn't realize I was gaining that much weight until I started having my breathing issues in March and I stepped on the scale to a whopping 265 pounds! YIKES! I knew my clothes were getting a little tighter, but holy smokes!  Before my asthma diagnoses, all my doctors kept telling me I couldn't breathe because of my weight. It took losing 20 pounds for them to take me seriously.

I think there is a certain prejudice against overweight people when it comes to getting a medical diagnoses.  Doctors want to blame everything on your weight because it seems to be easier.  I've been one of the lucky ones who hasn't ended up with diabetes or high cholesterol.

I lost the first 20 pounds out of spite towards the doctors.  I wanted to prove that my overnight problem had nothing to do with my weight.  Once that was proven, I decided I needed to continue losing weight for myself.  Knowing about the hole in my heart, and the fact that diabetes runs in my mother's side of the family (she has just started taking insulin shots), I have decided to start going through Weight Watchers* again, since it has worked in the past.  I'm now down 26 pounds, and I'm determined to lose at least another 26 by Christmas. I think losing 6 to 7 pounds a month is realistic.  If I can lose even more, GREAT!

So fibro beware! I will not let you stop me from attaining my weight loss goals.  You are in for a fight if you think I'm going to allow you to get the best of me!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

*I am in no way affiliated with Weight Watchers.  This is only my opinion!

A Brand New Year!

I have decided not to make any resolutions this year. I don't see the point! Every year I resolve to lose tons of weight, and by March I have quit trying.

This year I have decided that instead of resolving to lose weight, I'm just going to try and live a healthier life. Now that I'm dealing with fibromyalgia, it is imperative that I change my way of life if I don't want to have major flare ups. I have read about how different foods and preservatives can cause a flare up. I have already started cutting back on my coffee intake (which believe me in not an easy task), and will be switching from artificial sweeteners to a more natural sweetener.

Tomorrow my hubby and I are going to join weight watchers, and take it one day at a time. I'm hoping all the new medications I'm on will not work against me in trying to lose weight.

So no resolutions this year, just going to try my best to live a better, healthier life!

Happy New Year!!!