Could Life Be Anymore Stressful? (Done in my Chandler voice from Friends)

Trying to keep my flares at bay is not an easy thing when life throws a lot of stress your way.  I'm still trying to deal with the fact that my son is leaving in exactly one month.  I am still very proud of him and wished I had the guts he has when I was his age.

My boys at Shane's 11th Birthday Dinner!

That stress is bad enough, but I'm worried about my cousin who has "Stage  2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer (that means while the cancer started in a duct, the cancer cells have moved outside the duct-that is what makes it invasive."

My cousin is only a year younger than me, but she is one of the strongest women I know.  She lives quite a distance away from the rest of the family, but has her husband, children, and her brother and sister and their families with her.  I support every decision she makes and I know that her faith will pull her through this.  I believe she will win this war, but it's still hard not to worry about her and what she is going through.  I didn't know how to support her from so far away, and then it hit me.  I bought what I call my "Supporting Lolita" outfit to wear on Fridays, and I got a new tattoo in her honor and for those who have gone through this horrible disease (personally or as a support system).

I also got it for my Grandma Raquel who passed away when I was 18 from complications due to bone cancer.  She was diagnosed when I was 3 and told she had only 6 months to live.  She fought for 15 years because she was determined to see me graduate from high school.  She was bedridden when I graduated, but video cameras had just come out so my parents rented one so they could tape it for her.  She lasted 2 months after my graduation and made me promise I wouldn't get married until I graduated from college.  Her strength was incredible also!

  

My body has been nice to me during this time, but we are also getting ready for the state exam at the end of the month.  I have several students who I worry about.  I have been working with these kids everyday (including Saturdays), and yet nothing seems to be working.  I have seen a few light bulbs come on, but several that remain dim.  I know they can do it, but trying to convince them of that is another story.  I hate this test and I truly don't think it's fair to put this much pressure on an 11 year old.  I also don't think that many of our people in charge (our Governor for example) could pass this test.

Oh,  and to add to the stress, we decided to adopt a puppy yesterday for my youngest son.  A very huge 10 month old puppy who weighs 81 pounds.  He's a Black Lab/Newfoundland mix and is the sweetest dog ever. He is also very active and wants to eat everything in sight.  Our yorkie seems to be okay with him unless he jumps up on one of us and then he goes into overprotective mode.  What Willy doesn't seem to understand is that Dante outweighs him by 70 pounds.  So far Dante just looks at Willy when he tries snapping at him.  Hopefully Willy realizes we're not in danger and just chills out.  Shane loves his new dog, but they are going to doggy school during Spring Break because right now Dante takes Shane for a walk instead of the other way around.

Shane and Dante

Dante and Willy

Stress be damned, I will deal with whatever pain Fibro throws my way and get through the next few months.  I will handle my son leaving, I will continue believing in my cousin, I will get my kids through this stupid test, and I'll make sure Dante doesn't eat Willy.  I pity the flare that tries to get in my way.  Ain't nobody got time for that! :-)

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

P.S.  Did you notice I've lost 29 pounds! WooHoo! That has helped with some of my pain, and I have a little more energy.

I'm Back!

Hello all,

I know it's been awhile, but I just got really lazy this summer and decided to take a computer break.  I actually had a great summer.  First summer in years where neither my hubby nor I ended up in the hospital for some kind of illness or surgery.

Our summer started with a whirlwind trip to East Coast for Memorial Weekend.  We actually went for a 30th birthday party for a girl I worked with one on one for 2 years when she was in elementary school.  I taught her life skills and she became a very important child in my life.  She taught me patience and tolerance, and I thank her for making me the teacher I am today.  Her birthday was a very special one because she only had a life expectancy of 25 years.

Her parents threw her a major party at the Baltimore Orioles stadium.  Since we were going for her birthday, my hubby and I decided to make it a family vacation.  My oldest was born in Columbia, MD and we wanted him to see where he spent the first 2 years of his life.  My youngest is a history buff, so we spent a day in DC, and then we all decided that a quick trip to NYC was in order.  I was exhausted by the time we got home and had to take an extra day off to sleep.  I was able to keep my fibro pain at bay with a lot of pain medication.  I hurt, but I wanted to make new memories for my boys.

We went to AZ in July to visit my brother and his family.  We spent a week there celebrating both the 4th of July and my birthday.  We went kayaking one day, and I actually managed pretty well.  I couldn't move my arms the next day, but well worth the pain.  Both my boys and hubby also had a blast kayaking.

I spent the rest of the summer just hanging out with my youngest.  We chilled, went to the movies, and just enjoyed our summer.  I hardly saw my oldest because he was always out with his boyfriend.  Now that school is starting and he has a job, we might see him every once in awhile.  Luckily for him we love his boyfriend, and they come and hang out at the house when they're broke.

I went back to work on Monday the 18th.  Trainings and getting my room back in order was exhausting, but I look forward to meeting my new 5th graders and having another fun year.

Finally, I went and got my hair done for the new school year.  Last year I went with purple highlights.  This year I decided to add purple and teal highlights.  I love my new color.  It makes me happy!

Last August

Anyway, hope every one is doing fine and the pain is manageable.  I hope everyone enjoyed their summer as much as I did.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

The Blahs!

When I started writing this post about 3 hours ago, it was a whiny whoa is me post.  I started complaining about work and state testing and being tired all the time! Wah, wah, wah!

Then I stopped writing, shut down the computer and watched a movie with my hubby. While watching the movie I started thinking of my post again and realized that life is what I make of it, and being a big whiny baby isn't going to help me get out of my blahs!

I've decided that I'm going to join the gym Monday (which my school district is paying for), and start eating healthy again.  I came to the realization that I've become a slug on the weekends because I have no energy left after a week of work.  It doesn't help that I've gained about 30 pounds since school started (on top of the 80 pounds I was already over weight).  I need to get out of my slump and start living again. 

I let my fibro take control, and it's time I take back that control.  It's time to quit feeling sorry for myself, and making excuses because I have fibro.  I need to push myself to my limits instead of just giving up without even trying.  It's time to put the WAR back into Fibro Warrior!

So no more blahs, and more yays!  Life will be good again!

By the way, my mommy helped me get out of my blahs by telling me she has bought tickets for me and Spencer to go see Britney Spears in Vegas this September! Big Yay! 

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Fibro Warrior of the Week! Yay!

I want to send a big hug and a big thank you to Julie at Counting My Spoons for making me her Fibro Warrior of the Week!

Thank You Julie!

Gentle Hugs to All,
Bonnie