The Blahs!

When I started writing this post about 3 hours ago, it was a whiny whoa is me post.  I started complaining about work and state testing and being tired all the time! Wah, wah, wah!

Then I stopped writing, shut down the computer and watched a movie with my hubby. While watching the movie I started thinking of my post again and realized that life is what I make of it, and being a big whiny baby isn't going to help me get out of my blahs!

I've decided that I'm going to join the gym Monday (which my school district is paying for), and start eating healthy again.  I came to the realization that I've become a slug on the weekends because I have no energy left after a week of work.  It doesn't help that I've gained about 30 pounds since school started (on top of the 80 pounds I was already over weight).  I need to get out of my slump and start living again. 

I let my fibro take control, and it's time I take back that control.  It's time to quit feeling sorry for myself, and making excuses because I have fibro.  I need to push myself to my limits instead of just giving up without even trying.  It's time to put the WAR back into Fibro Warrior!

So no more blahs, and more yays!  Life will be good again!

By the way, my mommy helped me get out of my blahs by telling me she has bought tickets for me and Spencer to go see Britney Spears in Vegas this September! Big Yay! 

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

I SURVIVED! Sort of!

I SURVIVED!

After a horrible weekend due to the cold front, I felt really good on Monday.  I decided to take my little man Shane to the movies, then I had to go to a church council meeting, and finally I decided to go shopping.  I got home around 9:00 p.m. and was exhausted.

Tuesday I got up and cooked 2 turkeys, and made a double batch of my broccoli, rice and cheese casserole for our big family Thanksgiving/Family Reunion on Thursday.  I also did about 7 loads of laundry.  I still felt good, but my shoulders were a little sore.

Wednesday morning I went and picked up my mom around 8:15 so that we could go see the spine doctor (we both had appointments).  Doctor wants me to get an MRI and said I could go back to the chiropractor for now (yay me).  After our appointments my mom wanted to go to the mall to return some boots she had bought the day before.  We ended up getting makeovers (I got some makeup courtesy of my mom) and going to a late lunch.  After I dropped her off I headed to my nail appointment.  While I was there, my hubby called me and asked me to stop at the store and pick up some things we still needed for Thanksgiving.  I ended up getting home around 7:00 p.m. I was exhausted, a little more sore, but still moving.

Thursday 36 people (including my family) were crowded into my house for our first ever family reunion.  We hadn't all been together in over 13 years (see pictures on left sidebar).  My mom (the oldest sibling) called her other 3 siblings and told them that they needed to get all of their children and grandchildren to come down for Thanksgiving.  She didn't ask, she demanded!  My 89 year old grandfather was recently diagnosed with stage 4 skin cancer, and has decided he isn't going to get any treatments for it.  So my mom let everyone know that we may not have many more holidays with him.  So all 32 family members joined the 4 of us at my house for a wonderful day of love, laughter, and lots of memories.  I'm glad my body was still cooperating!

Friday and today I AM IN PAIN!!! My feet burn, my back is killing me, my shoulders feel like someone is stabbing me, and I have a monster headache!  The pain is worth the week I had.  I'm using the weekend to recuperate so that I'm work ready on Monday!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I know I did!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

No, I'm not talking about the cereal! 

What a day! First hubby and I went to my family doctor (who I absolutely love and wouldn't trade in for the world because he believes me when I tell him I'm hurting) who gave me a shot of something, a pain pill, a prescription for some pain patches, and a prescription for a muscle relaxer. Then he called his brother the chiropractor and told him he needed to see me today. 

So off we went to the chiropractor who said my back was really jacked up (though he used his doctor words) and worked out a temporary plan of treatment. First a massage (I was thinking awesome until they went all deep tissue on me and pissed off my fibro and made me seriously light headed), then some stretches (painful but manageable), time with the industrial strength tens unit , and finally I was back with the doctor. 

 He stretched me out (ouch), and then told me he was going to do an adjustment (oh-oh). I have never been to a chiropractor before, but I relaxed and let him do his thing. He popped every bone in my back (quick relief, then "Dude, I'm going to hurt you if you do that again" pain). Monday I have to get some x-rays and lab work done, and he wants to see me again. Apparently it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Right now I feel like I've been beaten with a bat, plus my back is still killing me. I did take a long nap today due to the work out my body got plus the meds they gave me. So for now I'm supposed to keep resting, and then we'll see what Monday brings. So looking forward to it!

A little humor courtesy of http://www.digitalham.co.uk/misc/chiropractor/

Gentle hugs,
Bonnie

My Spine!!!!

I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a child. I was one of the lucky ones who were diagnosed early enough that it could be treated through exercise (several exercises every day for 6 years), and I didn't have to have surgery or wear a brace.

My mom was the one who noticed when I was 5 that my back looked a little crooked. I had to see the specialist twice a year for 6 years. He would x-ray me, take measurements, adjust the lift I had to wear in my shoe (left leg is 3/4 of inch longer than the right leg), and adjust my exercises. Finally, when I turned 11 he told me that he no longer had to see me because I had reached the height I would be for the rest of my life. I had stopped growing at 5"4 (I was a tall 11 year old, but quickly became a short 12-46 year old).

The point of my post is the back pain I have suffered through my entire adult life. As long as I can remember I have always had problems with my back. I threw my back out the first time at age 29 which was not a pleasant experience. For an entire week I couldn't move without experiencing excruciating pain. I have dealt with this on and off for the last 17 years.

Lately my back pain is getting worse.  By the time I get home from work the pain is so bad I can't do anything else.  I spend my weekends in bed trying to get some relief.  I have tried my tens unit, heating pad, ice pack, back stretches, and pain medication, but nothing seems to work.  I have another 10 days before my rheumy appointment (which was supposed to be today), and I hope he has something that will help with this pain.

I started wondering if there was a link between scoliosis and fibro and found this very interesting link: http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/whosatrisk/a/fms_risk.htm.  One thing mentioned in the article was that "about 25% of people with low back pain eventually developed FMS, and scoliosis or other postural disorders made FMS more likely."

So for now I get through one day at a time and hope that there is something that can help with the pain.  Until then...

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Trying Not To Stress, but...

it's hard not to do when you know you're hubby might not get paid for awhile.  My Babe unfortunately is a federal employee who has to go to work each day while knowing he is not going to get a paycheck until government decides to get their act together and come to some kind of understanding.  This whole thing is a mess.  Right now the republicans are on my last nerve (which are shooting me some serious pain).  I think Jon Stewart sums up my feelings best:

It's bad enough that the shutdown is affecting my personal life, but it has also crept into my teaching life.  I have been teaching Point of View and was going to show my kids the classic story of the 3 little pigs from the Library of Congress.  I press the bookmark I had saved and this was the message I received:

A Note to loc.gov Users
Due to the temporary shutdown of the federal government, the Library websites, except the legislative information sites THOMAS.gov and beta.congress.gov, are currently unavailable!

WTF! I was so mad! Luckily I found a different website that had a version of the story (though not the one I wanted) to teach my lesson. I guess the Library of Congress finally realized how silly they were being and have restored the website (The Library has restored access to all sites in addition to our legislative information sites. Other legislative branch agencies, and many executive branch agencies with information functions similar to the Library, are granting public access as well.)  Too bad my lesson is over!

So my flare up is continuing into it's 4th week now.  I really need some kind of relief soon.  Have my rheumy appointment next week.  Hope he can help with this flare.  For now I will try not to stress over how we are going to pay our bills and feed our family.  Luckily our mortgage company is working with us for now.

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

First Day Back to Work!

Well I survived my first official day back to work.  It was great seeing all my friends again, and we had a great day catching up.  The inservice wasn't too bad, but I would have wanted to spend the day doing more productive things than going over things I already know how to do! A friend of mine sent me this link that a teacher wrote about inservice trainings.  It's pretty funny, and pretty scary how accurate it is when it comes to how a lot of us feel during inservice.  I shared this with my colleagues and they thought it was pretty accurate also.

I am very happy that I haven't needed my oxygen tank at school, but I'm still getting headaches and am exhausted by the end of the day.  I came home and took an hour long nap because I was so tired.  I'm going to try to get to bed earlier tonight (couldn't fall asleep until midnight last night and was up at 5:45), and I may take my shower tonight so that I can sleep just a little bit longer.

I'm hoping by next Monday that my body will be used to the new routine and that I won't be as exhausted by the end of the day.  So for now I'm going to read some blogs, then it's off to my shower and then bed time! Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Busy Last Day of Vacation!

I can't believe after 5 months I'm finally going back to work! It's going to be nice seeing all of my colleagues again.  I saw a few of them today while I worked on my classroom, but there are many I have missed!

I had a very busy day for my last day of vacation.  I had to get up early to get myself ready to take Shane to school.  Then it was shot day at the allergist's, so that took up almost an hour and a half of my morning.  Since I was already out and about I decided to go to the local teacher store and craft store to buy things for my classroom.

I then had to go to the shoe store to buy some new work shoes I can wear with capri pants because it is still very hot here. By the way if you haven't tried SAS Shoes, I highly recommend them if you have problem with your feet.  I bought the Free Time Style since I can't seem to wear my regular tennis shoes anymore because my fibro is affecting my feet, and I can't wear sandals because I need ankle support for my knee.   The SAS Shoes may not be the prettiest shoes on the planet, but they certainly cushion your feet.*

Finally I made it to school after picking up Spencer from the house.  He spent his morning getting his schedule set up for his first day of college.  He has decided to take his basics at the local community college while he tries to decide what he wants to major in when he transfers to an university.  I've heard music therapy, sociology, and education.  At least I still have him at home for awhile. 

Spencer and I finally managed to finish getting everything in its place. and borders hung up on the walls.  I have a few odds and ends to tie up, but I could accept kids into my classroom tomorrow if it was the first day for them. 

So tomorrow I head back to work with a big smile on my face, and my inhaler in my bag.  Looking forward to catching up with everyone and hanging out with my grade level for the next 4 days.  Monday we get kids!!!!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

*I am in no way affiliated with SAS shoes.  These are only my opinions!

Hurting!

I thought I was doing okay yesterday after setting up my classroom, and was going to get away with just a headache.  As the night progressed though, other parts of my body started hurting.  By bedtime I could hardly walk because my feet were very tender.  It feels like I'm walking on shards of hot glass!  My arms and legs are sensitive to touch, actually I will throw something at you if you even come close to my arms and legs! My pain scale number has definitely gone up from the 5 I was at yesterday.  I would say today I'm at about a 9.  Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night and look like something from "The Walking Dead!"

I can handle the pain in my arms and legs (remember don't come to close to my throwing arm), but the feet are another thing!  Just the thought of getting up to go to the restroom gives me nightmares! So today is going to be a lazy, stay in bed kind of day. Thank goodness my hubby is off today and taking good care of me. 

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Headache Time!

Went to work today to get my classroom ready for the upcoming school year.  We go back on the 20th and get kids on the 26th.  This was my first time back to my classroom since getting sick in March, so I really wasn't sure what to expect.  My wonderful substitute packed up my room for me so I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.  He did an awesome job, so unpacking the room wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, plus I had 4 helpers with me.  My oldest son Spencer convinced his best friends Sarah and Marsha to come and help, and then my dad dropped Shane off after he got out of school.

Best friends since 3rd Grade!

I took my oxygen tank with me just in case I needed it, but I only needed to use my inhaler to keep me going.  I did end up with a monster headache, and several parts of my body seem to  be mad at me and are throbbing.  On the pain scale I would say I'm only about a 5. I'm taking it easy the rest of the night so that I can go back tomorrow and finish up.  My helpers did all the heavy lifting and cleaning today, so I only have to put some things away.  Shouldn't take too long I hope!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie

Exhausted!

Two days of trainings have left me worn out.  I'm hoping I can more energy by the time I officially go back to work on the 20th.  I need to start going to bed earlier (not always easy) and trying to get m 8 hours in.  I'm resting for a little while before I have to head out again to Shane's back to school orientation and meet the teacher night at his school.  Hopefully I don't fall asleep during the orientation. 

He's been going to the same private school since he was 2 years old, and the orientation never changes.  It's mandatory so every year we sit there and listen to same thing all over again.  I could do the orientation in my sleep (which might actually happen).

So off I go! I just wanted to check in just in case anyone cared!

Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie